Ever wondered why, amidst an ocean of pleases and thank-yous in restaurants, there’s a certain phrase that never quite makes it to your table? No, it’s not just because your server forgot. There’s a reason, rooted deep in language, culture, superstition, and a dash of etiquette. Brace yourself, because after reading this, you may never look at mealtime chit-chat the same way again!
Manners Before Meals: What’s Missing?
- Before diving into a delicious meal, there’s often a parade of polite phrases—perhaps a blessing recited, or a host softly hoping everyone enjoys their culinary masterpiece.
- With so many options for pre-meal good wishes, you might expect every classic phrase to be on the menu in restaurants too.
- Yet, there’s one common expression—two little words—you’ll notice servers almost never utter. Not out of neglect, but by choice. Curious? Good, because that’s where the plot thickens.
The Storied Expression Everyone Knows (and Some Still Say)
- This isn’t just any phrase; it’s a cultural mainstay, immortalized by writers like Jean de la Fontaine and often appearing in foreign films eager to set an unmistakably French scene. Baguette in hand, beret slightly askew, and voilà—the two legendary words: « Bon appétit. »
- At first blush, it sounds like peak politeness, the gold standard of table etiquette. But here’s the twist: It’s actually considered familiar and, believe it or not, not as refined as it seems.
Latin Roots, Old Fears, and… Digestion Woes?
« Bon appétit » comes from Latin « appetitus, » meaning « strong desire. » Back in days when medicine was shaky and poisoning was a legitimate mealtime fear (try mentioning that at your next dinner party), wishing someone « bon appétit » was a sort of superstitious ritual—like a secret « good luck » if things went south. Just as actors never wish each other a « good performance, » people continued this odd custom well past its expiry date. But (plot twist alert!) in reality, you’re not supposed to say « bon appétit. »
Why? It’s not just about superstition. Over time, « bon appétit » evolved into a wish not for gustatory pleasure, but for, well… good digestion. Imagine gathering for a refined meal only to have someone essentially say, « Hope everything moves along nicely in your intestines! » Suddenly, things are a lot less glamorous.
- No matter how comfortable you are with your dining companions, it’s safe to say no one wants to chat about digestive processes while slicing into a carefully plated dish.
Service Secrets: Why Servers Skip the Phrase
- This is why, for most servers, refraining from uttering those two words is a matter of courtesy, not a glaring lack of manners.
- Especially in upscale dining, the preferred alternative is the more elegant « Enjoy your tasting »—or, in the original French, « Bonne dégustation. » It conjures refined savoring, not gastrointestinal journeys.
- Of course, if you’re home with family or friends, go ahead and say « bon appétit » if you like—no etiquette police will bust down your door. In a cozy circle, it remains a beloved, popular wish.
So next time you’re eyeing the menu and waiting for your plate, remember: When your server smiles and says « Enjoy, » it’s not because they forgot a more classic phrase. They’re simply following a time-honored tradition of good manners (and sparing you any awkward visuals about digestion).
And while we’re debunking food myths, if you think the « dish of the day » always means fresh ingredients, think again—according to chef Gordon Ramsay, it’s often best avoided. But that’s a story for another meal.
In summary:
- « Bon appétit » is famously avoided by servers, not by accident, but by design.
- It’s rooted in old superstition and not-so-charming references to digestion.
- « Bonne dégustation » is now the elegant, preferred wish in fine dining settings.
- With friends and family, feel free to use the classic phrase if it’s close to your heart!
So, for your next dinner, you know just what to say (or not say)—and can enjoy your meal, etiquette fully intact!
Iveta is an aspiring journalist with a passion for storytelling and a deep love for coffee. Always curious and creative, she dreams of sharing stories that inspire, inform, and connect people around the world
