« Not even a hello »: The Habits That Secretly Drive Restaurant Staff Crazy
Before you even check your reflection in the cutlery or scan the specials, know this: dining out is a dance, and while the customer is reputedly king, the staff have seen a few too many royal tantrums. Whether it’s stacking plates as a helpful gesture or frequent disappearances from the table, certain restaurant habits make even the sunniest waiter consider swapping the salt for sugar…
A Minefield of Manners: What Really Ruffles Feathers
We like to think we’re model diners, but three seasoned servers have compiled a list of the little things that really grind their gears. These aren’t just tiny faux pas—they can actively make a server’s shift harder, whether you’re at a bustling bistro or a Michelin-starred gem. The culprit? Well-intentioned (or oblivious) habits such as:
- Stacking empty plates yourself
- Standing up impulsively to pay the bill
- Playing musical chairs with frequent table escapes
Each of these seemingly innocent acts can confuse the delicate ballet of restaurant service. Etiquette, after all, isn’t old-fashioned—it’s oxygen for smooth operations.
Is the Customer Always King? The Limits of Service
That age-old gold rule, « the customer is always right, » is sometimes wielded as a shield (or a weapon) by demanding diners. Yes, the foundation of waiting tables is making others happy. Yet, there are boundaries. Whether at a starched-linen table or a sun-drenched brasserie terrace, etiquette must be upheld, not just for show but for the sanity and efficiency of all involved.
Even if you imagine yourself a dining paragon, you may be committing a classic mistake with lasting effects—ones that don’t just annoy but can disrupt an entire evening’s flow for the team.
The Side Servers See: Changing Times, Quiet Aggravation
Take Laura, for instance—head waiter and sommelier at a Michelin-starred restaurant in Nice. Her headaches start before guests even arrive, thanks to the new digital trend: reservations now require a credit card hold, a growing phenomenon among fine dining spots. Each subtle shift in restaurant culture trickles down to affect the day-to-day experience of staff.
There’s also the delicate, sometimes prickly relationship between staff and guests. In Paris, for example, some diners accuse waiters of acting socially superior—a performance, they say, that barely conceals the reality that after a long shift, these same waiters trade elegance for the crowded commute and small apartments at the end of the line.
It’s not all snobbery or suffering; sometimes it’s resignation. Independent professions, from doctors to servers and artisans, have watched traditional politeness and education slip away since the iconic events of May ’68—an era seen as paradise by some and embarrassment by others. Whichever way you lean, the residual effect is visible each time a table is cleared with a smile that’s a little less genuine than it might have once been.
From Head Waiters to Helpful Intentions: The Evolution of Respect
Not so long ago, the dining room was a world of ranks and diplomas: Director, maître d’hôtel, head waiter, junior head waiter, first commis, commis, apprentice. Today, diners and staff alike refer simply to “waiters,” and the industry faces real hiring troubles. Awkward schedules, long hours, holiday shifts, and declining pay have driven away seasoned professionals, replaced often by willing novices whose only diploma is enthusiasm. As the saying now goes, it only takes “crossing the street” to find a job.
The result? Fewer seasoned eyes to spot and gracefully overcome your innocent mistakes. More often, you’ll find the ones with good intentions—and perhaps a shorter fuse when you habitually stack your plates.
There are bright spots, of course. When George and Amal Clooney recently lunched by the sea in La Ciotat, the American actor took the time to chat with the restaurant staff, surprising them with his simplicity. Even among the stars, a little genuine politeness still sparkles.
So next time you reach for that plate or leap up to pay, pause for a second. Let the staff lead the show. A simple « hello, » a smile, or a little patience won’t just help keep your server sane—it might even score you a little movie-star charm.
Iveta is an aspiring journalist with a passion for storytelling and a deep love for coffee. Always curious and creative, she dreams of sharing stories that inspire, inform, and connect people around the world
